Semi-annual Fuck You award
The monthly fuck you award is a prestigous achievement to say the least. Below is a list of our previous winners:
George W. Bush
George W. Bush
ugly girls (and fat girls)
So who wins it this month? WE HAVE A TIE!
1a. Time Warner Cable. Now i know you are thinking, "Mitch, all cable companies are competent and have their customers best interests in mind at all times". Sorry to say, this was not the case. Let's break down what happened yesterday, October 28th, 2006:
1st: they give me the wonderful 8AM-5PM time slot. Thanks fucksticks.
2nd: some guy, sounding like a voicebox on speed, calls me, says he is almost there. This is 12:30. Not too bad. I proceed to tell him I have no cable outlets in my house. He then says he will have to come around "between 4 and 5 PM" because my job would take longer and he wanted to finish the others first. Fair enough.
3rd: Go back to my parents house, 10-15 minutes away. Get a call @ 1:45, saying a TW repair guy is at my house. I tell the operator that I was told he would be there between 4 and 5 but cool. Tell him I will be there ASAP. She asked if he could go in the house, I said yes, I will be there in 5-10 minutes. She talked to the dude. 5 minutes later, she says he is going to leave. I beg and plead with her. "tell him I will be there in 1 minute". she clicks over, tells him, then tells me he will wait another 5 minutes. I say tell him I am pulling in in 1 minute.
4th: I pull in, and what do I see? I nice little go fuck yourself note from Time Warner:" Sorry We Missed You!" Kiss my ass.
5th:I called them and they said there was nothing they could do, that I would have to reschedule for Wednesday between, wait for it.... 8AM-5PM!!! Yes!! another day wasted, waiting for the cable company. I fucking love it!
1b. Maurice Carthon.
an inside look at carthon's playbook (courtesy obr.com)
I don't mean to hop on the guy, considering he was axed this week, but seriously, does he smoke crack? As a former fullback, Carthon tried ever so hard to make his FB's (as in plural) become the focal points of the offense. Lawrence Vickers, FB and 6th round pick of the 06 draft, said about Maurice: "I'm going to miss Carthon. He was kind of a mentor to me. We talked about a lot of things, football-wise and life." Surely Vickers' jests. What could you guys possibly be talking about? How you think that Terrelle Smith should run a reverse pass-option, hitting you in the end-zone? Here is an idea: instead of talking about life, perhaps you should concentrate on gaining one fucking yard on 4th and 1 and not on getting stuffed like a drunk girl at a frat party. Yes, the players need to make plays. But the coaches need to at the very least appear to know what they are doing. Jeff Davidson, former OLine coach takes over the playcalling duties. Daidson said he will call from upstairs in the booth. Carthon liked to be on the field, often not even watching the play. Now why would a guy like Davidson want to call plays from a birds-eye view where he can see the entire field? It makes too much sense for this organization.