Me=Sad

"Homeboy don't play that, bitch"


We tend to idolize athletes or famous figures when we are children. For instance, I idolized the biggest prick-asshole, scumbag, piece of shit person this side of Terrell Owens: Albert Belle. Not only was he a dickhead, but he celebrated it. Albert Belle terrorized pitchers with his famous staredown. Unfortunately, he also terrorizes members of the opposite sex (along with touching them innaproporiately). Albert Belle was sentenced today to 3 months in jail and 5 years of probation for stalking his ex-girlfriend. This is where I have a problem. You see, to Albert, stalking is a relative term. Is is a crime to protect someone? Belle's former girlfriend told police in January that she discovered a Global Positioning System tracking device that had fallen off her car. Umm, hasn't she ever heard of a fucking surprise? The world is a dangerous place. You can never be too safe nowadays.
She also said Belle had threatened her. Well, would you not be a TADDD upset if your significant other didn't appreciate the tracking device you nicely placed on her car without her knowing? Girls just don't acknowledge chivalry anymore.
While Belle may have a had a few problems in his past (suspended in 1994 for using a corked bat, fined in 1990 for throwing a baseball into the stands where it struck a fan who had been taunting him about his alcohol rehab, chased down rowdy trick-or-treating vandals who were celebrating Halloween by throwing eggs at his home, bumping one of the vandals with his car), he should NOT be made into a monster. In fact, he should be given an I Care About My Bitch award. Those tracking devices are expensive as hell and she just blew it off like he was stalking her. I'm calling Bullshit. Anyways, stay proud, Joey, and don't let the man keep you down. Two rules to follow while locked up: don't drop the soap and keep your ass clinched at all times. Good luck and god bless.