HELP WANTED



On April 28th, the Cleveland Browns traded Center Jeff Faine and their 2nd round pick to the Saints so they could move up and take D'Qwell Jackson, ILB from Maryland. Prior to this move, the Browns aquired LeCharles Bentley, Cleveland native and pro-bowl center. On that same day, the Browns aquired Bob Hallen for insurance purposes. Fast-forward to August 8th. LeCharles Bentley is out for the season because he stepped on a blade of grass the wrong way. Insert Bob Hallen, career back up who now has a chance to shine and make a name for himself. So what does he do? He leaves the team because he cannot handle the pressure of starting at Center. Now I know the running joke is who would want to start for the Browns, but this is not your old Cleveland team. This team actually has a chance to do something, especially on the defensive side of the ball, and this asshat runs and hides like a fucking girl cause starting is too demanding for him. Well Bob, we all have our problems. One of them is you. You are a piece of shit. You quite on your coaches, your teamates, and most importantly, the fans who pay your submissive ass. The reports are Bob has a back problem and some personal problems at home. If this is indeed the case, then i hope you get better. But I doubt this to be true. I think you are just a huge puss. Visit the gyno. They might be able to get the sand out of your vagina. Seriously, eat a dick.

You are annoying me Andy

"Here, take it! Please!"



Andy Marte is pissing me off. You know why? He has 3 hits in 26 AB's, with an aggressive .115 batting average. His glove looks decent, but the way in which the Indians have handled this situation reminds me of another great picture (load up on Taco Bell, look in the toilet, and you'll see the picture). Maybe Wedge needs to grow a fucking mullet. Who knows. Anyways, Marte needs to be playing every day in every possible situation, not taken out for Todd "The Beefcake" Hollandsworth in a clutch situation. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Cannot wait for the browns to start (umm, do we even have a Center?) more to come on that tomorrow.

W.T.F.




Whatever you want to say, the artist formally known as Maurice Clarett is a tool. In fact, he is a hatchet. Maurice, or "Mo", was pulled over last morning (4 in the AM) because of an illegal U-Turn. Big Mo tried his hardest to outrun the cops, but, much like his combine, Mo failed to impress. After the cops stopped him by placing spikes down, they realized that this was no ordinary chase. Apparently, Mr. Badassmotherfuck had a bottle of vodka, 3 handguns, a loaded AK-47, and a HATCHET in his front seat. Ohhh, It gets MUCH better. The cops tried to subdue Mo by tazering him (always a good time). Unfortunately, their device was ineffective against the power that is Mo. You see, Mo had a BULLET PROOF VEST on. Let's recap: 3 handguns, a loaded AK-47, a bullet proof vest, a bottle of vodka, ANDDDDDD (drum-roll)....a hatchet. So here is my question: What the fuck was the hatchet for? Was he gonna go scalp an Indian? Either Mo was going to Iraq to fight the Taliban OR he was looking for the woman who was going to testify against him (he was supposedly a few blocks away from her house). Inside information has told me Mo was a big time drug dealer in Warren. Perhaps he was going Tony Montana on someone...who knows. Either way, a fun game has now been invented: over/under 15 years for Mo.